Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
