We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
