Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
