i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
