just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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