The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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