I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
