nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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