Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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