I want to have your abortion
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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