you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
