is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
