oh god the rape fog is back!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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