Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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