so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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