OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I need to stop coming to work sober
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
