Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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