question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
