Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
