Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
barbara walters just said penis...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
