Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
