You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
