guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
