Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
