She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
