i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
