i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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