What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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