i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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