sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
