i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
