I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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