I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
