I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
