you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
