Your tits are I can't wait for
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
