Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
