Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
