found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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