$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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