Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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