she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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