Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
