Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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