i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
