home. puking in laundry basket.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
