pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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