i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
