Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
