She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
