I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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