His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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