Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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