you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
