just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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