fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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